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Thread: Soccer

  1. #1
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    Default Soccer

    I hate soccer. Played it. Hated it. I kept getting thrown out for tackling, elbowing and tripping idiot opponents who kept trying to get in my way. The Egyptians hated me (and the team I played on). I dunno why. But now I hate soccer. It's NOT football.

    It's bullshit.

    AMERICA'S FAVORITE NATIONAL PASTIME: HATING SOCCER

    Ann Coulter

    June 25, 2014

    I've held off on writing about soccer for a decade -- or about the length of the average soccer game -- so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.

    (1) Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks and drop fly balls -- all in front of a crowd. When baseball players strike out, they're standing alone at the plate. But there's also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks.

    In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child's fragile self-esteem is bruised. There's a reason perpetually alarmed women are called "soccer moms," not "football moms."

    Do they even have MVPs in soccer? Everyone just runs up and down the field and, every once in a while, a ball accidentally goes in. That's when we're supposed to go wild. I'm already asleep.

    (2) Liberal moms like soccer because it's a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level.

    (3) No other "sport" ends in as many scoreless ties as soccer. This was an actual marquee sign by the freeway in Long Beach, California, about a World Cup game last week: "2nd period, 11 minutes left, score: 0:0." Two hours later, another World Cup game was on the same screen: "1st period, 8 minutes left, score: 0:0." If Michael Jackson had treated his chronic insomnia with a tape of Argentina vs. Brazil instead of Propofol, he'd still be alive, although bored.

    Even in football, by which I mean football, there are very few scoreless ties -- and it's a lot harder to score when a half-dozen 300-pound bruisers are trying to crush you.

    (4) The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport. Most sports are sublimated warfare. As Lady Thatcher reportedly said after Germany had beaten England in some major soccer game: Don't worry. After all, twice in this century we beat them at their national game.


    Baseball and basketball present a constant threat of personal disgrace. In hockey, there are three or four fights a game -- and it's not a stroll on beach to be on ice with a puck flying around at 100 miles per hour. After a football game, ambulances carry off the wounded. After a soccer game, every player gets a ribbon and a juice box.

    (5) You can't use your hands in soccer. (Thus eliminating the danger of having to catch a fly ball.) What sets man apart from the lesser beasts, besides a soul, is that we have opposable thumbs. Our hands can hold things. Here's a great idea: Let's create a game where you're not allowed to use them!

    (6) I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is "catching on" is exceeded only by the ones pretending women's basketball is fascinating.

    I note that we don't have to be endlessly told how exciting football is.

    (7) It's foreign. In fact, that's the precise reason the Times is constantly hectoring Americans to love soccer. One group of sports fans with whom soccer is not "catching on" at all, is African-Americans. They remain distinctly unimpressed by the fact that the French like it.

    (8) Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it's European. Naturally, the metric system emerged from the French Revolution, during the brief intervals when they weren't committing mass murder by guillotine.

    Despite being subjected to Chinese-style brainwashing in the public schools to use centimeters and Celsius, ask any American for the temperature, and he'll say something like "70 degrees." Ask how far Boston is from New York City, he'll say it's about 200 miles.

    Liberals get angry and tell us that the metric system is more "rational" than the measurements everyone understands. This is ridiculous. An inch is the width of a man's thumb, a foot the length of his foot, a yard the length of his belt. That's easy to visualize. How do you visualize 147.2 centimeters?

    (9) Soccer is not "catching on." Headlines this week proclaimed "Record U.S. ratings for World Cup," and we had to hear -- again -- about the "growing popularity of soccer in the United States."

    The USA-Portugal game was the blockbuster match, garnering 18.2 million viewers on ESPN. This beat the second-most watched soccer game ever: The 1999 Women's World Cup final (USA vs. China) on ABC. (In soccer, the women's games are as thrilling as the men's.)

    Run-of-the-mill, regular-season Sunday Night Football games average more than 20 million viewers; NFL playoff games get 30 to 40 million viewers; and this year's Super Bowl had 111.5 million viewers.

    Remember when the media tried to foist British soccer star David Beckham and his permanently camera-ready wife on us a few years ago? Their arrival in America was heralded with 24-7 news coverage. That lasted about two days. Ratings tanked. No one cared.

    If more "Americans" are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.
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  2. #2
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    Default Re: Soccer

    Soccer = Globalist cabal to take over the sports world.

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    Default Re: Soccer

    lol

    It's a conspiracy!

    As Ann pointed out, it's European, and it's stupid

    (Technically, it's not European, it's "Arawak" in it's creation. But they used to knock the crap out of one another.)
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    Default Re: Soccer

    Obviously, the US got a Pass because of Obama....

    U.S. loses to Germany, still advances to World Cup knockout stage

    By: Kelly Whiteside, USA TODAY Sports June 26, 2014 1:53 pm Follow @KellyWhiteside


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    RECIFE, Brazil – So much for a gentleman’s agreement. On a day when both teams could have eased into the Round of 16 with a draw, the United States and Germany battled fiercely and physically for first place in the Group of Death. The Americans got through to the next round, although surely not how they had planned after a 1-0 loss to Germany.
    With a win, a tie and a loss, the Americans got through to the knockout round on goal differential as Portugal beat Ghana 2-1. The U.S. and Portugal both finished with four points in the group, but the Americans had a better goal differential (0) to Portugal’s minus three.
    “It is huge for us getting out of this group,” U.S. coach Jurgen Klinsmann said. “Everyone said we had no chance. We took that chance and now we really want to move on.
    “We should have created a bit more chances. That’s something we have to improve on.”
    U.S. MOVES ON: Three things we learned from 1-0 loss
    Though it was a loss, it felt like a win to the large American contingent among the 41,876 fans. When the Portugal score was posted on the big screen, the stadium erupted in U-S-A cheers. It’s the first time in U.S. soccer history that the Americans have advanced to the Round of 16 in consecutive World Cups.
    After 24 combined fouls and three shared yellow cards, Germany left Arena Pernambuco with the win and a first-place finish in Group G. The U.S. finished second in the group and will play the first-place team from Group H, likely Belgium, on Tuesday in Salvador. Germany plays the second-place team from Group H on Monday in Porto Alegre.
    After the skies opened, the streets flooded, Germany also poured it on. In the first half, Germany dominated possession, 65% to 35%. After conjecture about a tie between friends – a tie would send both teams through to the Round of 16 – Germany showed there would be no such détente.
    The Germans attacked from the start, only the continual heroics of U.S. goalkeeper Tim Howard kept the game to a scoreless tie at the half. Germany finally connected in the 55th minute in a bit of ping pong. Howard made a terrific save, by punching the ball clear. Thomas Mueller was there to retrieve it with a punishing right-footed shot that landed low in the corner.
    PORTUGAL-GHANA: Cristiano Ronaldo saves United States
    Klinsmann and Germany coach Joachim Low are close friends, but that didn’t stop Germany from going full throttle. Low was Klinsmann’s assistant when he coached Germany in the 2006 World Cup and the coaching staffs are close. There are five German-American players on the team – Jermaine Jones, Fabian Johnson, Timmy Chandler, John Brooks and Julian Green. All are the sons of U.S. servicemen. All were raised in Germany.
    Afterwards, Klinsmann hugged many of Germany’s players, and the scene played out like a happy family reunion.
    Klinsmann praised Jones after the game. “He’s a warrior. He showed that again. He’s so important to the entire team. He has this never say die attitude.”
    Klinsmann began the game with two lineup surprises. After struggling against Portugal, including giving up a goal with an epic whiff, Geoff Cameron was sent to the bench. Omar Gonzalez started in his place at center back against Germany and acquitted himself well.
    The Gonzalez addition was surprising since he hadn’t started for the U.S. or the Los Angeles Galaxy since May 3 due to a knee injury and had played just one prior minute in this World Cup. At 6-5, he’s the most imposing player on the backline and his size and strength matched Germany’s physical play, as he kept his penchant for mental gaffes at bay.
    Brad Davis replaced Alejandro Bedoya, who later came in as a second-half sub.
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    Default Re: Soccer

    I played soccer once, and got pretty badly knocked about. Horrible bruises the next day. I won't do it again. Those studs they have on the bottom of their boots can really do some damage - as you probably saw at the world cup. I remember when I first played, for some reason I bought the boots with the 'blades' on the bottom as opposed to the 'studs'. Contrary to how it sounds, the blades were actually a lot less dangerous than the studs. And the other boys would actually use their studs as a kind of weapen, ramming their boots into your shin, or casually stepping on to your hand when your down. With my blunt blades I was unable to recipricate! There was some kind of 'ruck' at some point and I was trampled upon and soon found myself with my face in a puddle at the bottom of a great heap of players. I bruised my vetebra and had to sleep on memory foam mattress toppers from here for the next month or so!

    Much prefer to play football when I am wrapped up safe in my pads. Snug as a bug in a rug!
    Last edited by MMM; July 24th, 2014 at 10:18.

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    Creepy Ass Cracka & Site Owner Ryan Ruck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Soccer

    Quote Originally Posted by MMM View Post
    I played soccer once, and got pretty badly knocked about. Horrible bruises the next day. I won't do it again. Much prefer to play football when I am wrapped up safe in my pads. Snug as a bug in a rug!
    You sure you played football?

    I played many years ago and distinctly remember being on the receiving end of some fairly big hits and delivering a few that laid guys out.

    Saw a couple of KOs and more than enough blood, bruises, and even broken bones to go around.

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    Default Re: Soccer

    Yeah, I am not sure you were playing foot ball either. lol
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    Default Re: Soccer

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryan Ruck View Post
    You sure you played football?

    I played many years ago and distinctly remember being on the receiving end of some fairly big hits and delivering a few that laid guys out.

    Saw a couple of KOs and more than enough blood, bruises, and even broken bones to go around.
    is that not rugby?

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    Default Re: Soccer

    Rugby doesn't have pads, helmets etc. lol
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    Default Re: Soccer

    I would have to concur. In my younger days (feels like someone else's life) I played lacrosse and football. In my scholastic time as a football player I witnessed two ruptured spleens, broken collar bone, broken neck, several separated shoulders, innumerable concussions, hyperextensions, minor sprains and breaks beyond measure and one death.

    It ain't child's play.

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