In 10 years these kids will be young lawmaking adults!

[Aplomb]

I missed work today because my 4-yr old had an urgent need to go to the dentist. After the exam and the breakdown at the clinic, I took my 3 out to McDonalds for lunch. When shots or other ouchies happen, that is our family way of a followup with something a bit more enjoyable for my kids. (Not that a dentist would be pleased w/ that.)

So I brought the food to the table, my kids and I were seated, and then 2 more kids sat at the other end of our table. They were part of 2 or 3 other kids who were seated with grandma and probably their mom. I gathered this because after the two boys at my table began to eat, the elderly woman, who was all made up and dressed up came over to them and quietly entreated them to sit somewhere else. To which the older of the two, who may have been about 9, said he wanted to sit there. She quietly said something more. He responded, "you didn't say I have to, you just asked me if I wanted to. I don't want to." She reacted by muttering softly, "because you should," and returning to her seat. About a half an hour after this, the mom or aunt person came and chatted with the boys, giggling and seeming to have a wonderful, caring relationship. Then she took a seat across from the elderly woman.

Most of the hour that we were there, the boys were not at our table, but were off playing, with their food only nibbled on, and one cheeseburger left opened up but untouched. It was the older one who approached the grandmother at this point to ask for icecream. She immediately pulled out some green and handed it to him, smiling a loving smile.

I am not a confrontational person, and normally I just spout off to people who may understand where I'm coming from. But I am working on changing that about myself; and I decided that I would speak directly to an adult in the position of authority over the boys...

As we passed this family to exit the playarea, I stopped and tapped the mom, disturbing her laughter with two beautiful little girls. I said, "I have a question for you." She nodded with attention on me to go ahead. "I was wondering why it is that you think that it is appropriate to let your children sit at our table." She turned around and looked at the table and then returned her gaze to me quite puzzled looking. "I don't understand. ...your table???"

"No, apparently not. We sat at the table right there and then the two boys sat at the other end here and I was not sure why that seemed to be acceptable to you." Her response was, "oh, did you need the whole table, then?" She looked about to see how many kids were with me. "No, I didn't, but if you had two extra chairs here at your table would you find it acceptable for me to just sit in one of them and join your family here at your table?" "Well, it is a big table and we are here twice a week, and they always sit there. If you didn't think that was okay, you could have said something earlier, and I would have had them move. But they always sit there and nobody has ever said anything before about it, because like I said, we are here twice a week." "Well, somebody is telling you about it right now," I stated. "If you had said something to me before..." she began. "I'm telling you right now. I think that is rude. They weren't misbehaving or anything, it's just that we were sitting there to be with our family and I wasn't even sure which country you were from, I mean people just don't sit at other people's tables unless they're in a Japanese restaurant." She looked frustrated, but held to her position with, "you are the only one who has ever said anything about it, they always sit there." And I held to mine as well. "That is rude. I don't understand how it is that nobody insisted that they leave our table. Even if you do come here twice a week, this isn't YOUR McDonald's." The grandma rose up but looked flustered and apologetic but didn't speak. I looked at them both in a teaching manner, having finished instructing them on social behaviour they should have already known (all kids dressed well, and clean, with well-groomed hair). Then we left.

Americans are loving their kids to the death of us all. No rules, no social manners, no spacial limitations. It's all yes, honey, whatever you want dear. You don't have to eat your food to go play and then to get ice cream, you don't have to respect the space of the family at another table. Dear Lord, what happens when these kids grow up and make our laws and vote? We already see what the parents have done to us all. You can't even give your own child a well-deserved spanking without having to worry if you'll have social services on your ass and get arrested for child abuse.

[American Patriot]

I don't really see too much of a problem with kids sitting at a table with other kids even if they are strangers or something. I don't see to much of an issue here.

Personally, I dont generally sit at a table someone else is sitting at unless invited, or there aren't any other chairs, and I will ask if I'm in a fast food place like that. If it is THAT crowded that you can't find another table though, I'd just take my food and go out side and eat in the car myself.

But, as for the kids.... I'd say that, you know what? Kids grow into adults. Some of them make it as adults and some don't. I don't think everyone is gonna "excell" at anything. Most people don't excell at ANYTHING.

[Bastastic]

I think the problem here is that the adults should have some common courtesy for other people. Just because "they always sit there", doesn't give them the right to bother others. It is just rude.

[Aplomb]

lol Rick! If they'd sat at your table, you'd have wasted no time wondering how such a thing could happen, if they were from France or Sweden and if that was their cultural norm, or waited to see if their mother would move them away. You'd have just told them: "Hey, kids, go sit somewhere else. You bother me son." And then if the adults rescued their poor little darlings from that horrible heartless man, you'd have taken them all on, with lots of colorful metaphores thrown about. lol

The place was practically empty, seating wasn't an issue. Not until somebody finally said something to that family, anyway. The grandma knew it wasn't right but had no power within herself to insist on cooperation from the kids. And the boy had put her in her place. His own doting grandmother. Unacceptable.

[Brian Baldwin]

If my kids had thought to sit at someone else's table just because they always did, I'd have to take them to the doctor to make sure they weren't feverish before I marched them to the woodshed.

Invading another's space by a child is going to happen. A parent allowing it should never happen. We're here to make sure our kids grow up into mature, responisble adults capable of contributing to society as a whole. When we fail to set forth examples of proper behavior we have just encouraged the opposite.

Had it been my table I would have told the kids to get lost. No doubts there and if the parents wanted to make issue of it I would disciplined them also. I'm not adverse to correcting the shortcomings of adults in public. (Much to my wife's chagrin).

You did the right thing Aplomb. If nothing else they may think about it next time. One day they're going to let their kids try to run over the wrong person. That won't be a happy day for that family.