View Poll Results: Outer Space exist because it is afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck.

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Thread: Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

  1. #1
    Senior Member Beetle's Avatar
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    Default Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

    By Mohammed Abbas
    FALLUJA, Iraq (Reuters) - Hollywood action star Chuck Norris, known for his martial arts prowess and tough-guy image, has become a cult figure among the U.S. military in Iraq and an unlikely hero for some in Iraq's security forces.
    A small cardboard shrine is dedicated to Norris at a U.S. military helicopter hub in Baghdad, and comments lauding the manliness and virility of the actor have been left on toilet walls across Iraq and even in neighboring Kuwait, soldiers say.
    "The fastest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist," reads one message at the shrine, which consists of a signed photo of the actor surrounded by similar statements.
    "Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter," reads one and "Chuck Norris divides by zero," reads another.
    Known as Chuck Norris "facts", the claims have already become an Internet phenomenon, and scores are featured on www.chucknorrisfacts.com, including "Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas", and "There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma".
    The actor has visited Iraq several times and was made an honorary Marine last year. Some 20 U.S. military personnel and support staff spoken to by Reuters could recite at least one Norris "fact", despite many having not visited the Web site.
    U.S. troops in Iraq say his support for them and Norris' invincible image has made him their idol and insist the exaggerated and satirical claims are not meant to mock him.
    "The jokes all add to his legend. They're not derogatory. He's an icon," said Sergeant Joe Lindsay at a base in Falluja in Iraq's Western Anbar province, which Norris has visited. Continued...

    http://www.reuters.com/article/domes...e=domesticNews
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    Senior Member Beetle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

    Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: “Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.”

    Chuck Norris once shot down a German plane by pointing his finger at it and shouting *BANG*

    Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

    Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
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  3. #3
    Creepy Ass Cracka & Site Owner Ryan Ruck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

    These things are true!




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    Senior Member Beetle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

    Good stuff Ryan. That looks like a 75 pound ruck on Chuck's back. At least!
    Beetle - Give me liberty or give me something to aim at.


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    Default Re: Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

    Sorry guys... I like Chuck, but... My dad is 72, and can kick Chuck's ass before Chuck can say "huh?"

    I've seen Mr. Norris in person and I watched him in the movies. I know he's good.

    But I never saw my dad in the movies (ok, not true he was in a movie in the Marine Corp) - but he fought in the Korean War, and got some interesting medals for it.

    I also watched him take six guys down at ONE TIME before I could even get out of the truck to assist... six... individuals were down and out and laid there waiting for the cops to take them away.

    So... Ok, maybe Outer Space IS afraid to be on the planet with Chuck... but, it dunno about my Dad.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member Beetle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

    OK, we need to start a Rick's Dad legend comments. Like, Rick's Dad isn't afraid of the dark; the dark is afraid of Rick's Dad.
    Beetle - Give me liberty or give me something to aim at.


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    Senior Member samizdat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

    Monday jokes.

    Scratch that beetle. 1st off, I'd like to be honest and sincere and leave the joke for last and say it would be an honor privilege and pleasure to meet Rick's Dad. I imagine he walks with the Almighty and could teach me a few tricks.

    Actually I reckon I share 2 Dads with many people, but I have 3. Honoring Dad's without competition is good. One of my Dads managed a feat matched as far as I know by only God the Father Almighty. He was a great guy, did a lot of good, we had are differences, we both have had major faults- but he did speak to me audibly in time and space from eternity while I was playing with one of my kids in a phone booth. True fact.

    2nd true fact- I also saw or met Chuck Norris, not for a nanosecond- more like 5 or 7 seconds since I was jogging (rarely run) and he was in a strange place but I said hey your that karate dude, no? Love Jesus. (maybe I said -or else- but that would be stretching my memory) I do, and he gave me the peace sign or victory.

    One of my other Dads, who has a feast day- 15 March instead of the traditional 19 March (Holy week) made God obey him always, made God in a material, chaste manner, since the lineage of Jesus Christ- house of David- is traced from his chaste human parent St. Joseph.

    My other Dad has never spoken a single word to me, though, save a lapse of turpitude and dillitante juvenile wanderings, I address Him honorably each day. He has never shown me His face and I have read and believe that one cannot see Him and live mortally. I fear this Person. He left my Brother with a message- a synesthetic ubiquitous petition/command- a joint pact- thy Kingdom come thy will be done.

    <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

    back to humour, a slightly elevated form of spirituality. Rick- could you ask your Dad what sort of beer or beans he might have consumed to whistle down six suckers with one blow of wind? I have known some old farts in my life with toxic wind to astonish the most vulgar lima bean pabst blue ribbon surge you can imagine.

    canto XXV Dante

    from purgatory, the lustful... "open your breast to the truth which follows and know that as soon as the articulations in the brain are perfected in the embryo, the first Mover turns to it, happy...."
    Shema Israel

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  8. #8
    Senior Member Beetle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

    Sorry Sam, just trying to be humorous.
    Beetle - Give me liberty or give me something to aim at.


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    Default Re: Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

    Nothing wrong with humor!

    My dad would laugh his ass off at this thread
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Beetle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

    OK, I here is one. I hear tell your Dad is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like your dad! But you probably knew that threw the gene pool.
    Beetle - Give me liberty or give me something to aim at.


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    Default Re: Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

    I did know that through the gene pool... even my boys called me in the past to thank me for the "good genes". lol
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  12. #12
    Senior Member Beetle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

    Good stuff. How come nobody is laughin out there?
    Beetle - Give me liberty or give me something to aim at.


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  13. #13
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

    hehehe
    Libertatem Prius!


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