Stupid Criminal Tricks

[Ryan Ruck]

Rocket Ready To Launch From Meth Suspects’ Car

Two Kentucky men face federal drug-trafficking charges after the Missouri State Highway Patrol allegedly found methamphetamine and cash in their vehicle along with a rocket system in the car’s trunk.

Authorities suspect the rocket was intended to jettison the drugs in the event it was detected by police.

Michael Ray Sullivan, 41, of Louisville, Ky., and Joseph C. Seidl, 39, of Sebree, Ky., were arrested Friday after a highway patrol trooper stopped them at Interstate 70 and Highway 54 in Kingdom City.

Don Ledford, spokesman for the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Kansas City, said the suspects gave conflicting reports about where they were headed.

During a search of the 1990 Ford Thunderbird, officers discovered $13,534 in cash, Ledford said.

In the trunk, the officers also found a "hobby-style" rocket, described as 3 to 4 feet tall and 3 to 4 inches in diameter, Ledford said.

Police also found three devices that looked like pipe bombs, but further examination found they were phony, Ledford said. Methamphetamine was also hidden inside those devices.

There was an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys that lifted the rocket to an upright position when the trunk was lifted. It could be ignited from inside the car, via power from the cigarette lighter, Ledford said.

Authorities also found more than two pounds of methamphetamine, worth about $145,000, inside the rocket, he said.

The rocket was ready for launching, Ledford said, but he did not know whether the vehicle trunk could be opened from inside the car.

Officers believe the rocket was set up to launch the contraband if it were detected, patrol Trooper Rich Ferrari said in a news release.

Ledford declined to speculate about the rocket’s purpose.

"But they did have the meth inside the rocket, and it could be launched from inside the car," he said.

[Ryan Ruck]

Chicago Man Steals Squad Car To Get To Work

CHICAGO -- A West Side man says he needed to get to work, and he made a decision that he'll probably regret.

Now Miguel Espinosa is in jail for stealing a marked Chicago police squad car.

Detectives say the 38-year-old Espinosa noticed the squad car outside a restaurant on North Western Avenue Thursday night.

The officer had left the keys in it while he went inside to eat. So Espinosa stole it and drove to work at the Whole Food Bakery House.

The suspect stopped to help someone who flagged him down Friday morning. That's when police nabbed him.

Espinosa is in jail on $350,000 bond.

[Ryan Ruck]

Gas Thieves Bungle Theft, Pump Diesel Instead

NAPPANEE, Ind. -- The high cost of gasoline may have driven them to do it. Picking the wrong fuel pump cut short their getaway.

Two men who tried to steal gasoline from a construction company instead filled the tank of their car with off-road-grade diesel fuel Sunday, police said.

An employee of Beer & Slabaugh spotted the men on the company property near Nappanee, about 20 miles southeast of South Bend, as they were siphoning fuel out of the car's tank, Elkhart County deputies said.

The two told the employee that a friend had put the wrong fuel into the tank and they were trying to empty it, deputies said. The employee noticed that the fuel was the distinctive red color of off-road diesel.

He called deputies, who arrested McKinley Chase, 21, and Dajuan L. Lord, 19, both of Gary, on preliminary charges of felony. They acknowledged the theft explaining their mistake and saying their car would not run.

Lord remained in the Elkhart County Jail on Tuesday. Chase was released on bond, a jail spokeswoman said.

[Ryan Ruck]

Man Tried To Distract Drug Dog With Biscuits

WABASH, Ind. -- A Kansas man faces drug charges, accused by police of trying to distract a drug dog by throwing dog biscuits out of his car window.

Indiana State Police said Jong H. Kim, 23, of Overland Park, Kan., was stopped on Wednesday for speeding.

Police said Kim was uncooperative, nervous and vomiting. When a drug dog arrived at the scene, police said Kim tossed debris and dog biscuits toward the dog in an apparent attempt to distract the K-9.

The dog alerted police to the possible presence of drugs in Kim's car.

Police said they removed Kim from the vehicle by force and conducted a search.

Officials said they uncovered about 75 grams of marijuana hidden in the vehicle and that Kim also had marijuana in his system.

Kim was charged with possession of marijuana, resisting law enforcement and operating a vehicle while intoxicated.

[Ryan Ruck]

Thieves Snort Dogs Ashes In Cocaine Bungle

Continuing our across-the-pond coke coverage, a reader sends in this article from a British tabloid. The second and third sentences are best:

The burglars thought they had hit the jackpot when the saw the pale-coloured powder marked “Charlie” — slang for cocaine — in a pot on pet-lover Dee’s mantelpiece. But they were unaware the pot was an urn and the “drugs” really the remains of her beloved Newfoundland Charlie, who died in 1997.

Of course, the real question is: Are dog ashes really any worse than the God-knows-what your typical NYC blow is cut with?

An image of the full article:

[Ryan Ruck]

But The Dead Deer With An IV Made It Weird…

At first, it was just a guy, dressed like a doctor, driving an ambulance reported stolen


This EMS-chase photo shows a Lexington, N.C., ambulance that had been stolen after it was stopped by police Sunday.

Cops in North Carolina thought it was odd enough a Jacksonville man was driving an ambulance reported stolen hours earlier.

Odder still was that he was wearing a makeshift doctor's uniform consisting of a stethoscope, a pager-like gadget and latex gloves stuffed in his back pocket.

But then things started getting really strange when they saw a dead deer, fully stretched out and wedged in the back. Some said there was an intravenous line attached to the animal and there was evidence a defibrillator had been used.

Others were just stunned.

"I don't know how the man got it up in there," said Sgt. Robert Pearson of the North Carolina State Highway Patrol. "It was a six point buck."

Leon Hollimon Jr., 37, last seen in August at a River Region Human Services facility in Jacksonville, was sporting a Mohawk haircut and wearing a red shirt when he was chased down in the stolen ambulance Sunday in Rockingham County, N.C.

"He basically said he was told to leave the state," said Rockingham County Sheriff's Office spokesman Dean Venable. "And so he found a way to accomplish that."

Hollimon was admitted to the John Umstead Hospital, a North Carolina hospital that treats psychiatric disorders, for an evaluation, authorities said. Police will decide after that if Hollimon will be charged with any crimes.

The ambulance was stolen before 7 a.m. Sunday from a Davidson County emergency medical service south of Rockingham County. It was sporadically chased as it traveled through three rural North Carolina counties and one in southern Virginia. Eventually, its tires were punctured and it wound up in a ditch late in the morning.

At one point authorities chased it through a field.

"It was a little like the Duke boys out there, I understand," said Pearson.

Hollimon was reported missing from River Region in the 900 block of Bridier Street on Aug. 16, a day after he was seen going out a back door, according to a missing persons report filed with Jacksonville police.

Authorities in North Carolina said they did not know where the deer found in the ambulance had been collected but said it had been dead for a time.

"I smelled that deer until 10 o'clock that night," Pearson said.


This EMS-chase photo shows the deer that was found inside a Lexington, N.C., ambulance that had been stolen after it was stopped by police Sunday.

[Ryan Ruck]

Man Shot Trying To Hijack A Train-Armed With Bow & Arrow

A man armed with a bow and arrow who commandeered a Union Pacific freight train stopped in Montclair on Sunday night was shot and wounded by police, authorities said.

Juventino Vallejo-Camerena, 43, of Pomona climbed onto one of the train's two locomotives about 10:45 p.m. and threatened the two crew members with a bow and arrow, Union Pacific spokesman Mark Davis said.

The engineer and conductor fled the train, which was stopped at a signal, and cut off fuel to the engine with an emergency button outside the cab. They were not harmed, Davis said.

Alone in the cab, Vallejo-Camerena refused to drop his bow and arrow after Montclair police officers ordered him to do so, said Capt. Keith Jones, spokesman for the department.

He nocked and pointed the arrow at officers on the scene, near Monte Vista Avenue in western San Bernardino County, and threatened to take over the train, Jones said. Police then shot Vallejo-Camerena in the wrist and upper arm, according to a Montclair Police report.

The attempted train-jacking was "the first time I remember in 25 years something like this ever happening," Davis said. "How many times does somebody come and take over a train with a bow and arrow?"

Vallejo-Camerena was arrested on suspicion of train robbery, assault with a deadly weapon and resisting arrest, and was treated for non-life-threatening wounds at Chino Valley Medical Center. He is in custody at West Valley Detention Center in Rancho Cucamonga, Jones said.

Authorities said Vallejo-Camerena was homeless and the did not disclose whether they knew why he tried to hijack the train.

Railroad police are assisting the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department with the investigation, Davis said.

Locomotives are not equipped with locking devices on doors, which could jeopardize the crew's safety if they needed to escape a train in an emergency, he said.

The 71-car train was hauling retail goods from Salt Lake City to the ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach, Davis said. Sunday night's incident did not cause any major delays, he said.

[Ryan Ruck]

Man Arrested For Sprinkling Fecal Matter On Pastries

A Dallas cab driver is in big trouble for getting caught on tape sprinkling dried feces on pastries.

49-year-old Behrouz Nahidmobarekeh is on trial for allegedly throwing fecal matter on pastries at a Fiesta grocery store.

Police said they found a pile of human feces by his bed.

He would dry it, either by microwave or just letting it sit out and grate it up with a cheese grater and then sprinkle it at the store, officials said.

Neither attorneys in the case is clear about a motive or why the defendant would resort to something so repulsive.

Prosecutors will show a surveillance videotape of the defendant, which shows him sprinkling a substance on the food.

The FBI arrested Nahidmobarekeh but turned the case over to local prosecutors after they determined it was not a national security issue.

[Ryan Ruck]

Woman Has Nearly 3,000 Toll Violations

The North Texas Tollway Authority says it has a forgiving attitude for Dallas-area travelers who sometimes pass through their booths without anteing up.

"We recognize that sometimes you get in the wrong lane, or you don't have money," said Clayton Howe, director of the authority's toll programs and services. "We don't punish people for that kind of activity."

But Evangelina Gonzalez apparently pressed her luck with nearly 3,000 violations since February 2004. Gonzalez, 41, owes a record $76,039, which includes a $25 administrative fee per violation, The Dallas Morning News reported in Wednesday editions.

A constable was sent to her home last month with an arrest warrant. She was booked into the county jail and later released on the condition she appear in court on the Class C misdemeanors.

Gonzalez could not immediately be reached for comment Wednesday by The Associated Press. No phone listing for her could be found.

She stands accused of failing to pay 2,953 tolls on the Dallas North Tollway and Bush Turnpike.

Gonzalez isn't alone. Another violator has a $61,025 bill pending.

Howe said the tollway authority doesn't expect to collect all the fees from Gonzalez, but anticipates a fair assessment from a judge. The authority uses cameras and a database to catch offenders.

[Ryan Ruck]

Car-Pool Dummy Busted

In many respects, Kevin Morgan's carpooling companion is the perfect passenger. He's never late for his ride, he always wears his seat belt, and he doesn't talk incessantly over the radio. But he doesn't have a pulse, and sometimes that can be a major drawback.

Morgan, 28, of Petaluma was slapped with a $351 citation in Marinwood yesterday for driving in a carpool lane with a kickboxing dummy propped up in the passenger seat, the California Highway Patrol said.

The dummy, wearing a seatbelt and dressed smartly in a baseball cap and a Miami Dolphins windbreaker, might even have passed for a real human. But CHP Officer Will Thompson couldn't help noticing one minor detail: Morgan's passenger was a torso without legs.

"When I looked inside his window, I thought, 'Oh, that's cute,'" Thompson said. "I didn't even ask him where he got it. I think he was pretty embarrassed because all the people driving by were laughing."

Thompson, a patrolman for the past 15 years, including 10 in Marin, has made something of a specialty out of flushing out carpool violators. During the morning commute, he often parks his patrol car right next to the southbound carpool lane between Ignacio and Lucas Valley Road. Then he stands up on his door rail so he can look down into the cars as they approach.

The high vantage point allowed him to spot Morgan's legless companion at a distance. After stopping Morgan, Thompson hauled the torso out of the passenger seat and plunked it down on the freeway shoulder to enlighten the passing commuters.

"I think about the only thing he said was, 'Well, that didn't help me very much today, did it?'" Thompson said. "I said, 'No, it didn't.'

"He wasn't too worried about the torso, but he wanted the jacket. I told him after it gets adjudicated he could come and get it."

Bogus carpool passengers are a longstanding phenomenon of modern life. In 2002, a woman driving with a mannequin - complete with a wig, a sweater and makeup - darted into a carpool lane near Seattle and caused a series of pileups involving six cars and two buses, according to new reports. Fifteen students on a class trip were injured.

Carpool dummies have even been dragged into political debates.

"Carpool lanes are making criminals out of people who are simply trying to make it to work on time," California Assemblyman Ray Haynes, a Riverside Republican, wrote in a 2000 editorial against carpool lanes. "Some motorists have used imaginative deceptions to appear eligible for carpool lanes. Some have been caught with dummies in the passenger seat. Others have carried infant car seats without infants. One pregnant woman insisted that her unborn child was a passenger."

At least one company, Archie McPhee Toys, Gifts and Novelties of Seattle, markets a 5-foot-6-inch female mannequin for use in traffic.

"These sleek, hard vinyl mannequins are perfect for dressing up and propping in the passenger seat so you can use the carpool lane," the company Web site attests. The cost is $225.

Even in Marin, carpool dummies are not unheard of, police say. But they are rare.

"I've been here seven years and I think this is the third time I've seen this happen," said Lt. Charles McLaughlin, a supervisor in the CHP's Corte Madera office.

"I've heard a lot of excuses, but I've never had a dummy," said Thompson. "I found it humorous at the lengths some people will go."

Morgan could not be reached for comment.

[Malsua]

Feces, dummies, and rocket launching druggies.

LOL

-Mal

[Ryan Ruck]

Man Threatened Chopper With Tomatoes

(Australia) A man agitated by a helicopter hovering over his home on Queensland's Gold Coast threatened to shoot it down with tomatoes, a court has been told.

The Southport Magistrates' Court was told today Anthony Douglas Donohue, 34, telephoned Air Services Australia in Canberra yesterday to complain about the helicopter.

Mr Donohue allegedly threatened to blow the chopper out of the sky using a home-made bazooka loaded with tomatoes.

He is charged with two counts of threatening to endanger the safety of an aircraft.

He was not required to enter a plea in court today and will face court again next month.

Outside court, Donohue's solicitor Bill Potts said: "Fruit is hardly a weapon of mass terror but having said that, the pilot of the aircraft was not to know that that was the case."

Authorities searched the Sorrento home Mr Donohue shares with his mother but no weapons of any kind were found, a police spokesman said.

Police said such threats were taken "very seriously" and were not tolerated.

[Ryan Ruck]

LOL! Pistol whipped with his own fake gun!

Tables Turned On Robber

Merrimack, New Hampshire — A Brookline man was arraigned on a charge of felony armed robbery yesterday, sporting injuries police said were from a pistol-whipping he received from a female clerk using his own handgun.

Marc Dixon, 24, 50 South Main St., Brookline, was arrested early yesterday by Brookline and Milford police after allegedly attempting to rob a clerk at Ladd’s Convenience Store on Route 13 Monday night.

Dianne Duval, who has run the store along with her husband for the past 17 years, said yesterday her voice was still hoarse from yelling at the would-be robber who entered her store about 8:15 p.m.

“I wasn’t thinking at the time — all I did was react,” Duval said yesterday. “You don’t really know what you’re going to do until something like that really happens.”

It was the first such incident for Duval, 51, a Nashua native, and her husband, Lucien.

Duval said a masked man wearing a hooded sweatshirt entered the store with his revolver pointed in the air and yelled, “Give me your money.”

“He followed me behind the counter, put his gun down and turned his back to me and went to grab the register,” Duval recalled. “That’s when I picked up the gun and cold-cocked him over the head.

“I can’t tell you exactly how I swung that gun — I just grabbed it, swung up and over and went for his head,” she said.

She said the suspect was unable to remove the cash register because it was still attached by a cord, and when he was hit, he dropped it and put his hands to his head.

He then took the gun away from her, ran from the store and escaped north toward Milford in a silver Oldsmobile. A vehicle matching the description was spotted by Milford police Thursday outside a Union Street residence.

At his Merrimack District Court arraignment yesterday, Dixon was sporting two black eyes and a cut over his nose. Investigators said a large amount of blood was found at the scene.

According to the arrest affidavit, police said Dixon tried to purchase “either cocaine or heroin” in Milford before the attempted robbery.

Police said Dixon admitted the attempted robbery, saying he was expecting to get “a couple thousand dollars” at the store and that he used a fake gun.

Duval said yesterday the gun she hit the man with didn’t look or feel fake to her.

A witness said the man fleeing the store got into the passenger side of the vehicle. Dixon told police he was by himself.

Judge Clifford Kinghorn handled the arraignment in Merrimack and ordered Dixon held on $50,000 cash bail.

Dixon was on probation after an altercation with Milford police in October 2004. He had been arrested on an outstanding warrant for negligent driving and for assaulting a Milford officer while resisting arrest. His 120-day sentence had been suspended, but those charges will again be brought forward at a hearing Monday in Milford District Court.

Dixon is scheduled for a probable cause hearing on the armed robbery case on Dec. 20, also at Milford District Court.

[Ryan Ruck]

Out of the frying pan and into the fire!

Shoplifter Runs From Store Into K-9 Training Area

MEDFORD, Ore. -- From the opening act to the hot-pursuit chase to the grand finale, the Three Stooges couldn't have choreographed a foiled shoplifting attempt in Medford any better.

It began when a Fred Meyer's worker spotted a man snatching a $42 bottle of Calvin Klein perfume and stuffing it down the front of his pants. The man left the store, but security caught up with him just as he jumped into the frigid waters of Bear Creek.

When the 33-year-old suspect emerged from the creek, he made for some baseball fields. What he didn't know was that the fields were the training grounds for the Medford police department's K-9 units.

Police dogs Tiko and Rudy, along with their handlers, were honing their crime-fighting skills. The dogs found the suspect almost immediately, and he surrendered.

[Ryan Ruck]

Woman Allegedly Tries to Buy Pot From Cops

A North Dakota State University student is facing charges after allegedly trying to buy marijuana at the police station.

Saturday's incident was "about the craziest thing I've ever come across," Officer Ken Zeeb said. "This is something that you couldn't even make up."

The 20-year-old woman called the police station about 3:15 a.m. Saturday, asking where she could buy marijuana, authorities said. The dispatcher, after repeatedly telling the woman it was illegal to sell and possess marijuana, then told her that police had some of the drug in the station's evidence locker.

Zeeb had arrived for his 4 a.m. shift about 15 minutes early and was in the evidence locker room when the woman arrived.

"The dispatcher got on the intercom and said, 'You know what? She's here. She just handed me $3 for marijuana,'" Zeeb said.

The woman was arrested on charges of criminal attempt and possession of drug paraphernalia.

"She didn't seem like she was really under the influence of drugs or alcohol," Zeeb said. "She understood what was going on and articulated herself well."

[Ryan Ruck]

Man Arrested After Mailing Pot With Only Return Address

MILL VALLEY, Calif. (AP) - A man who allegedly mailed a half a pound of marijuana without an address label on the package was arrested after authorities returned it to its sender.

Steven Coburn, 48, of Mill Valley was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of drug possession for sale and investigators found another 1 1/2 pounds of marijuana worth $10,000 at his home behind Tamalpais High School, said Det. Matt Lethin of the Marin County Major Crimes Task Force.

The private Corte Madera shipping company where Coburn tried to mail the package on Feb. 16 followed company protocol by opening the package to see whether the label was accidentally sealed inside, Lethin said.

"Once they opened it up and saw what was inside, they immediately called law enforcement," Lethin said.

Investigators are not sure whether Coburn forgot to affix the address label or it fell off, but it had a return address on it that led to Coburn.

He was booked into Marin County Jail and posted bail. A court date was set for March 8.

[Ryan Ruck]

"Paralyzed" Woman Gets Up, Runs From Police

A wheelchair-bound Los Angeles woman, who has repeatedly filed lawsuits over access for the disabled, got up and ran after police arrested her for fraud, authorities said on Thursday.

Laura Lee Medley, 35, had sued in at least four California cities over injuries she claimed she sustained while trying to navigate her wheelchair before she was suspected of fraud.

Medley, who claimed to be paralyzed from a drunk driving accident, was tracked to Las Vegas where police there took her into custody and then, when she complained of medical issues, to a local hospital, Long Beach prosecutor Belinda Mayes said.

"She gets to the hospital and while she's waiting for an examination, she gets up from the chair and runs," Mayes said. "Somebody remarked, 'That's where the great miracle occurred."'

Medley sprinted through the hospital corridors but was quickly apprehended by police and booked pending extradition to San Bernardino, southern California, where she is facing charges of filing false documents, attempted grand theft and insurance fraud.

Medley has sued the cities of Long Beach and South Pasadena and counties of San Bernardino and Riverside over various injuries she claimed she sustained in her wheelchair. She was also being sought on arrest warrants by the states of Oregon and Washington, Mayes said.

[Ryan Ruck]

US Car Thieves Floored By Manual Gearbox

Two US would-be car thieves failed dismally to make off with a Honda Accord after discovering it had a mysterious manual gearbox, RTÉ reports.

Having menaced the owner with a gun outside a pizza restaurant in Georgia, and relieved him of his wallet and car keys, the pair of teen master criminals prepared to make good their escape. However, according to an employee of the pizza outlet, "they could not start it because it had stick shift".

The eyewitness recounted: "The kid was just sitting in the car trying to start it but he had no idea what to do. He looked dumbfounded. The only thing he had going was the radio."

While dumb and dumber wrestled with the problem of how to drive a car with four on the floor, restaurant staff called the cops who cuffed them as they tried to leg it into nearby woods.

[Ryan Ruck]

Felon Accidentally Shoots Himself In Tallahassee While Twirling Gun Like A 'Cowboy'

A Tallahassee man shot himself in the stomach Wednesday night while playing with a gun. As soon as Wallace Harris recovers, Tallahassee police say they will seek a warrant for his arrest on a charge of possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.

"He was playing with a .22-caliber revolver, spinning it like the cowboys do, when it went off," said Officer David McCranie, spokesman for the Tallahassee Police Department.

Harris, 53, was rushed to the hospital for his injury, McCranie said. The gunshot wound required surgery but wasn't life-threatening.

It happened about 6:45 p.m. in the 200 block of Tropicare Street.

Police later discovered that Harris is a convicted felon and that he has an extensive criminal history in Leon County dating back to 1989. Several charges were for weapons offenses.

"Thank goodness no one else is injured," McCranie said. "It could have been a very serious situation."

[Ryan Ruck]

Operation Stupid: Bungling Van Thieves Get More Than They Bargain For By Stumbling Into Secret SAS Drill

April 25, 2011

Opportunistic thugs attempting to steal a van got more than they bargained for when they prised open the doors and were faced with a team of heavily-armed SAS officers.

The four soldiers were taking part in late night military training on a council estate in Manchester when the bungling teenagers tried their luck.

The boys threw open the doors to find the men in full SAS gear with machine guns, pistols and live ammunition.

According to a source, one of the team was taking a break, another keeping log, one was on radio duty and the final soldier was watching a practice target in the counter-terrorism exercise.

A source told The Sun: 'They didn't want to move for fear of ruining the exercise and hope the gang would pass them by.

'The lads decided they would teach them a lesson if they did get into their van, which is exactly what happened.

'Those idiots probably still don't have any idea who they were messing with - but it hopefully made them think twice about doing that to anyone else again.'