Fort Bragg Chapel Holds First Same-Sex Ceremony
December 22, 2013
Three years ago, Maj. Daniel Toven couldn’t imagine being married, let alone having a ceremony in Fort Bragg’s Main Post Chapel. Like all gay soldiers at the time, he was living under the policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell” — a policy that kept separated his personal life and his work.
But after a whirlwind of changes that began with the repeal of the ban in 2011, Toven and his partner, Johnathan Taylor, have broken ground.
The pair, who wed in Washington, D.C., in August, blessed their marriage before more than 100 people at Fort Bragg on Saturday.
The ceremony — while not technically a wedding, which would be barred by state law — is believed to be the first for a same-sex couple at Fort Bragg.
The couple exchanged vows and were blessed in front of their family and friends packed in the chapel, which dates to 1934.
Soldiers in and out of uniform mixed with family and friends in the church pews during the Episcopal service, led by the Rev. Harry Abernathy.
Abernathy said the liturgy was one of blessing, not marriage, but the two were very similar. He added that the couple’s relationship was a sign of God’s love.
Attendees at the service included a one-star general and a command sergeant major.
Lt. Col. Heather Mack and her wife, Ashley Broadway, who initially was barred from membership in the Fort Bragg Officers’ Spouses Club before the group relented earlier this year, and Staff Sgt. Tracy Johnson, the first same-sex war widow in the U.S. military, also attended. Johnson’s wife, Staff Sgt. Donna Johnson, was killed in Afghanistan in 2012.
Both Broadway and Johnson had to fight for recognition in recent years. But as time has passed, so has acceptance of same-sex couples on Fort Bragg and in the military as a whole.
Now, same-sex couples openly attend unit holiday parties, balls and other events.
Toven and Taylor, in a sign of the growing acceptance of same-sex military couples, said they encountered no opposition to their ceremony by post officials and chaplains.
“We’ve been taken by surprise by the pace of change on Fort Bragg,” Toven said.
Toven, who joined the Army in 2003, said he couldn’t imagine a wedding ceremony on any Army post when he first put on a uniform.
“I’m not sure I would have fathomed that in early 2012,” he said.
Toven said he recognized that he would have to hide part of himself when he joined the Army. He was recruited after attending the Eastman School of Music in Rochester, N.Y.
“It would be a sacrifice, but I could do that,” he said, referring to a commitment to serve at least one term.
But Toven fell in love with the military, despite the restrictions it placed on him.
“For me, it was my hope that someday before I retired that I might see the repeal of don’t ask, don’t tell,” Toven said. “This? I never imagined in a million years. It’s a dream come true.”
The couple met three years ago after Toven, a native of Union City, Pa., moved to Fort Bragg with Forces Command during the 2005 base closure and realignment, or BRAC.
Shortly after his move, he met Taylor, a Rockingham native who works as a nurse at Cape Fear Valley Medical Center.
Their first date was at Pierro’s Italian Bistro in downtown Fayetteville.
The relationship grew, and the couple became engaged on Christmas morning last year.
Taylor had worked a 14-hour shift that Christmas Eve, and they attended church service before settling in at home just after midnight.
That’s when Toven asked Taylor to check his stocking.
Inside was a card and a small box.
“I open it and I look at Daniel and he’s on one knee,” Taylor recalled.
Taylor said he was sleep-deprived and hadn’t eaten all day. Suddenly, he was overcome with emotion.
“I said, ‘I think I’m going to vomit,’” Taylor said.
“It was not one of my finest moments in life.”
Almost a year later, Taylor and Toven held hands at the front of a chapel decorated in wreaths and poinsettias.
The couple squeezed hands as they exchanged vows and Taylor rubbed Toven’s hands with his thumb as their rings were blessed.
The pair had big smiles as they were presented as a couple, an act that was punctuated with applause from the audience.
Afterwards, the guests gathered outside as the couple walked under sabers held by six soldiers in dress blues.
Even before the wedding, Taylor said he felt like an accepted part of the Forces Command and Fort Bragg communities.
When Toven took command of the 55-member Ground Forces Band in July 2012, Taylor was introduced during the ceremony.
Afterwards, Gen. David Rodriguez, then-commander of Forces Command, personally welcomed him to the command.
“We have been welcomed most graciously,” Taylor said. “It was just normal after that. We were just like any other couple.”
Toven, who conducts the band at countless command changes and other ceremonies on Fort Bragg, said having Taylor introduced at such a ceremony was surreal.
“It’s something I always dreamed about,” Toven said. “Ceremonies are a staple of what I do. When that happened for me, I wanted to have my spouse with me and have him recognized as such.
“I didn’t think that was possible.”
“There was that moment when the angels were singing,” Taylor added. “From then on, it’s just been normal.”
When Toven was promoted to major between holiday concerts in Raleigh days before the Saturday ceremony, he was flanked by Taylor and his father.
“It felt completely normal,” he said.
“We are professionals. We’re soldiers. We all take the same oath .... That other stuff is irrelevant.”
Because North Carolina law barred the couple from being wed in the state, they were officially wed on Aug. 6 in the nation’s capital.
Saturday’s ceremony, however, was the main event for family, which includes many soldiers, and an important event for the couple, who thought it important to have a religious ceremony.
“We weren’t exactly sure if anyone had done that yet,” Toven said of the Saturday ceremony. “But all soldiers have access to post chapels. There’s just something iconic about getting married in a post chapel.”
The couple said they found no resistance in booking the Main Post Chapel, which officials have said hosts about 10 weddings each month.
An Army chaplain sponsored the couple, and the chapel was booked with only a few forms.
One of the applications, however, did get a small change.
Taylor said the couple crossed out “Bride” and instead annotated a “Groom 1” and “Groom 2.”
“We’d be lying if we said we did not think about it,” Taylor said of the ceremony’s place in Fort Bragg history. “But it says a lot about the wonderful place we’re at.”
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